Currently.

Hello, July and goodbye, June. Here's some things that have been on my mind and going on lately. 

Cupcakes. 
I've been going to an adorable cafe in Providence called the Duck and Bunny with a lot of my friends lately for tea and cupcakes. This is seriously one of the cutest places I've ever been to and so delicious too. I'm obsessed with their honey cupcake with lavender frosting and the vegan dark chocolate, mixed-berry cupcake. I've been there twice in the past month and want to go soon for lunch to try their crepes (and most definitely devour a cupcake). 

Debating renaming.
When I started Living Bittersweetly about a year ago, I really liked the name. It seemed fitting. I liked the idea of bittersweet, two opposing forces that work well together and it describes me pretty well and I still like this idea and the way it sounds but I'm not crazy about the "living" part anymore. I've been thinking about changing the blog name for a while but am not sold on anything yet. Anyone have suggestions?

Seeing.
Rainbows everywhere. Ever since I had to put Penny to sleep I've been seeing a rainbow at least once a week, starting with the day after. I'm not that superstitious or anything but to me it's a sign that she's okay and happy and looking after me.

Studying.
For my driver's permit. I know most people have their licenses the instant they turn 16 but I never took driver's ed in high school because I couldn't afford a car, gas or insurance and it seemed silly to go through all of the things to get a license. Now, I'm getting it so after college I can get to places if I leave Boston and surprisingly a lot of places don't accept state IDs as valid identification..

Freaking out over.
I'm going to be a senior in college in two months time. It's so weird to be that close to finishing school and embarking on real life with a job and an apartment and grownup things.




 

Strawberry Picking

My mom and I have been going strawberry picking almost every summer since I was a little girl. It's a super fun tradition and we always have a great time. And who doesn't love bringing home (literally) pounds of farm-fresh strawberries?! What's something you love doing in the summer?

Tea & Cupcakes

Tonight, I went out with my friend Kayla. Kayla and I have been friends for about four years now and have worked together at the same shoe store for just as long. She's an awesome person to spend time with and just graduated from UConn with a Communication degree so she's pretty much exactly where I'll be in a year. It was great to catch up with her because we haven't talked all summer except for a few conversations during work shifts.

We chatted about all the drama at the store and what's going on in our lives. We talked about all the bad dates we've gone on and how she's doing her best to stay positive after a pretty terrible breakup and how excited we were for me now that my love life is going so well.

We got together with plans to go to the Duck & Bunny, a fantastic place in Providence, RI. We both ordered mixed berry, dark chocolate vegan and red velvet cupcakes and shared an enormous pot of vanilla chai spice tea! Everything was so delicious. This place is adorable and, other than the awful lighting, is so photographable. I instantly whipped out my phone to snap pictures of my cupcakes and then little by little the entire cafe filled up making pictures impossible! I managed to get a few cute ones of our table though. Ever since my confession about food photography, I've been determined to take more pictures! 

There's nothing better than catching up with good friends over dessert. What have you been doing with your pals lately?

Currently

Reading- This past winter, I was attempting to read House of Leaves and never finished I'm trying to finish it this summer and got further than I did at my last attempt and it's so good I can't wait to finish.
Watching- I'm rewatching Parks and Rec on Netflix. It's so funny and one of my favorite shows.
Obsessed with- iPhone apps. I've had my iPhone since November but am just starting to use some helpful apps regularly for things like tracking positive activities (Lift) and calorie counting (My Fitness Pal).
Doing- Working a ton at both of my jobs. I'm lucky enough to make time for friends and Kris still but a lot of my time is spent at work right now.
Blogging about- I'm starting a new series called "Reasons I Suck at Blogging." I think it's pretty funny and it's just pointing out a couple of things I need to get better at that some of my favorite lifestyle bloggers are amazing at. I'm also going to start making some downloadable, useful things for my readers.
Missing- Penny. We had to put my dog down a few weeks ago and it's hard to be home without her. I miss her so much and am trying to not be sad.

 

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A Weekend Away

This weekend, I went away with Kris. We visited Kittery, Maine to go to an awesome Mexican restaurant for burritos. We love burritos, okay? We visited the Kittery Trading Post and saw so many taxidermies, some were even bears! It was sort of sad because they are dead bears but still bears... The drove down to Hampton Beach, New Hampshire and ate fried Oreos and pickles on the beach. We also spent a good amount of time at the arcades in the area and won a handful of plastic spider rings. We spent the rest of the day watching movies and I got to spend some quality time with his dogs while he fixed his dirt bike. It was an amazing weekend and I'm so happy I got to spend it with Kris.

 

Saying Goodbye is the Hardest Part

This past Saturday, I unfortunately had to say goodbye to my twelve-year-old Golden Retriever, Penny. She was diagnosed with a type of auto-immune kidney disease about a year ago and recently developed minor nerve damage in her spine. We brought her to the hospital on Thursday night and she wasn't getting any better. My family and I made the difficult decision on Saturday morning to have her put down. She spent most of the day sleeping in my lap, getting love from the people she loved most and the doctors and vet technicians who had taken amazing care of her this past year.

I had gotten scratched by a neighbor's dog, about a year before we got Pen, which had turned to a full fledged phobia of anything canine. My mom decided that was ridiculous and decided to adopt a Golden Retriever because they're great with kids. She found out about a new litter of puppies from a co-worker and they just happened to be her breed of choice. That weekend my mom told me she was taking me to visit puppies; all fears of dogs disappeared as soon as I saw the sweet, blonde balls of fur. My mom asked the breeder if there were any left and she said there was a boy and a girl. My mom asked me if I wanted to take one home and I immediately decided to get the girl. Six weeks later, I finished my last day of third grade and we picked Penny up to take her home. She was no trouble at all, fun to play with and I soon started calling her "my little sister."

For the next twelve years, Penny and I grew up together. She took care of me when I needed a friend or someone to cuddle with and I took care of her through her multiple medical mishaps, (major surgery, eating chocolate, Nana's pills, and a magnet, getting a dew claw amputated, etc.) shared more snacks with her than I ever wanted to and taking her on walks when the vet said she needed to lose weight.

For the past twelve years, Penny has been my best friend and little sister and I'm heartbroken to not have her around anymore. It's so upsetting to not have 60 pounds of tail-wagging fur to greet me whenever I walk into the house with a stuffed animal. There's always going to be a place in my heart that aches for Penny and I will always miss her. Losing a close friend is devastating and I'm so appreciative for my other friends and family who have been doing a bunch of little things to get me through this hard time. And now it's time for adorable Penny pictures because nothing about Penny can be a downer....

Looking Back in Instagrams

Yesterday, I moved back to my mom's house for the summer after finishing my junior year of college. It's so crazy that I'm almost ready to be out in the real world. The last few months have been a whirlwind of papers, studying, endless hours on InDesign and some great times. I've barely had time in this past few months to sit back and appreciate all of the great things I have going for me right now, never mind blog about them. But, it's reasons like this that I'm so grateful to have Instagram.

So without further ado, here's the past month or so of my life that I 'grammed:

Currently

Reading- Lots of Baudrillard for my final Media Theory paper. I'm looking forward to summer when I can read some fun novels.

Watching- "Hemlock Grove" on Netflix. This is an awesome television show produced by Netflix. I just finished the last episode and I can't get enough. It's very interesting and I love the mystical, science fiction elements. Just a warning, the show is a little graphic, especially in the later episodes. Also, the main characters are very attractive. =]

Designing- My portfolio. I'm revising some of my former projects so my portfolio will be in great shape. Once I'm happy with the state of my projects, I'll be binding them into a physical portfolio.

Looking Forward to- Plans for this weekend. My bestie, Molly, is also getting a tattoo this Saturday (sadly, this time I won't be joining her) which is exciting and afterwards we have plans to go to an awesome bakery with our friend Alex. 

Thinking about- The people in Boston whose lives will never go back to normal.

Happy about- Spending time with my "man friend." I've been seeing someone and we have the best times together, usually getting burritos, watching movies, and taking long walks where we look for people walking their dogs. I really like spending time with him and he makes me so happy.

What's going on in your life? Leave me a comment or link to your own Currently post.

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20 Before Twenty-One {Progress vol. 1}

A few months ago, I posted a list of twenty things I want to accomplish before I turn twenty-one. I've made progress on some of my goals and instead of doing what would be a (hopefully) massive post, I'm going to post little updates on my progress. View the whole list here.

8. Be more active as a feminist.
This is a goal that is extremely important to me. Depending on who you speak to or what your beliefs are feminism can be a dirty word. However, it's true meaning is that people should be treated equally and given the same rights, privileged and opportunities, regardless of gender. Lately, I have been doing my part in advancing awareness on my school's campus. As I've mentioned briefly in a few posts, I stage managed a production of Mrs. Packard for a friend who directed the play as a theatre graduation requirement. The play speaks about the unjust imprisonment of women during the 1800s. In that time it was legal for a man to place his wife in an insane asylum for disagreeing with him. Mrs. Elizabeth Packard was a remarkable women who worked to change the law in order to protect others from this fate. It was an incredible show to work on and I highly recommend researching the play and the remarkable woman who inspired it.

Also later this month, I was invited to speak at a panel hosted at my school about gender in the classroom. I'm super nervous about speaking in front of professors, administrators and fellow students! I'm currently working on what to say for my part of the panel and am so excited to share a cause I am passionate about with my academic community.

12. Learn to drive a car.
I'm learning. I can (almost) drive in a straight line and make turns. 

14. Dye my hair a crazy color again.
I wouldn't say it's crazy... but I used the Loreal "Wild Ombre" kit on my hair. It's just sort of blonde at the ends with some pink in the back from previous colorings but I'm thinking about dying it blue over that.

Every Cloud has...

I'm the first to admit it: I'm cynical as they come. I'm the first to doubt, to make sarcastic remarks and to roll my eyes. Lately, I've been feeling overwhelmed and unaccomplished in everything. My relationships with friends and family have been shaky. I'm not confident in my design work. I've gone on the worst possible dates. The advice I've been getting is everything I don't want to hear: "Work harder." I'm burnt out. "Be patient." I hate waiting. "Give yourself a break." I don't have time for that.

But taking a step back from it all and doing little things has really made a difference. Treating my roommate to iced coffee when she's had a long night or texting my mom to see how her day is make all the difference. Through small acts that took barely any effort, I have already eased the strain I've felt with two people I care about very much. 

Like I mentioned in a previous post, I've been trying my hand at online dating because I'm really bad at introducing myself to people. I've met some of my aforementioned horrible dating on the internet. I'm kind of at the point where the thought of meeting someone else new and spending any amount of time with them makes me crazy anxious. But there was one guy who messaged me all the right things. And we had so much in common so I gave it a shot. It went amazing. Everything was perfect and the next day he wanted to see me again. I can't even describe how happy I am that things are working out.

My last graphic design project was a C. Read: not acceptable. I wasn't happy at all. But my current project is going really well and I'm so happy with it. It's a layout for an artist catalog inspired by illuminated manuscripts. As someone who would like to create magazine layouts in the future, I'm hoping that this piece will be an A and portfolio worthy.

It's nice to have things working out in the midst of all of my course work, various health issues affecting family members and just the general bullshit that is every day life. Looking on the bright side makes things a little more bearable in my cynical world and I'm doing my best to keep finding that silver lining.



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Currently

Location. I am on Spring Break this week. I guess it's nice having a break from classes and homework and the general insanity my school life has become but home has it's own issues. On the bright side, as I'm sure you know if you follow me on Instagram, I've been spending a bunch of quality time with Penny. 

Reading. There seems to be no end in sight with the reading for my classes so no "fun" reading for me. I am reading Under the Feet of Jesus right now and so far I'm enjoying it. 

Watching. I've been on a total Netflix binge lately. This week from the hours of 11pm to 4am you can find me in various states of wakefulness in front of my laptop. I've been watching some good movies on Netflix, which I might post on soon, as well as, 30 Rock and Pretty Little Liars.

Trying. I have been (re)attempting online dating. I've had varying degrees of success in the past, I've met "friends" and boyfriends on various dating sites but I've also had many more bad dates and terrible messages through these ports. As someone who is terribly shy and had a fair share of my dirty laundry aired around a small college, it is hard for me to just meet someone. 

Achieving. I am working to finish my 20 before 21 list. I still have a good amount of time before December but I'm starting to exercise more regularly (at least once a week), I'm learning to drive and stage managing a show with a very clear feminist message (three out of twenty? not too bad!)

A Day in the Life...

Here are a couple of photos to document this mostly uneventful, rainy day. My best friend's mom made us delicious chocolate chip cookies. I had a presentation in my Marxist literature class on Zizek. Although the material was difficult and mind blowing, I really enjoyed the reading. Unfortunately, the presentation aspect of the assignment made me realize how badly my social anxiety has been taking over my life. I'm trying to stay on the positive side of things, as difficult as they may be. My new boots, from American Eagle, finally arrived and getting a package made today a bit more manageable. 

Reflection on Blogging

I have been blogging here for three days shy of nine months now and lately I've felt a lack of inspiration. I love talking about my day and sharing it with everyone who reads it and I've really loved looking back at pictures of day and me talking about my life. But for the past month or so I've lost my inspiration and motivation to blog.

Like I said, it's been nine months. I should have more than 11 followers. I should have more interesting content. Right? I love reading blogs about people who have perfectly designed homes, beautiful clothes and eat meals with plate presentation. I can't help but compare it to my messy dorm room, my cheap, lackluster wardrobe and the nauseating cafeteria food I survive on. It makes me sad that I no longer love posting my comparatively mundane instagrams of midnight sushi binges and rabbits in the middle of Boston. I don't feel like talking about what I've been reading; no one cares about Baudrillard and Benjamin. No one wants to see my design projects. Right?

Then I recently read a post on Bitch Media, called Better Homes and Bloggers. It's a great article and I highly recommend it. It discusses how the "norm" for lifestyle blogging encourages others to feel as though their lives come up short. And I never wanted it to be about that for me. Yes, I love reading about perfectly planned parties and impractical DIYs but that's just not my life. And I want this to be an authentic space where people enjoy reading about me. And most importantly, I enjoy what I'm doing here and want to look back on it happily.

Sushi and Fondue.

No the sushi and fondue was not eaten together!

As I had previously promised here is a semi-epic food post from over winter break. My cousin, aunt and I spent some quality time together literally eating a boatful of sushi! I also went to a fondue restaurant with my mom and nana to celebrate me getting a 3.7 GPA last semester. 

Currently

Reading- So much critical theory! As a junior in college, my classes are not getting any easier and with that comes a whole host of complex reading materials. It's a ton of work but so enjoyable for me. Unfortunately, it does not leave a whole lot of Kristen-reading time but I'm still working my way through House of Leaves.

Watching- I just finished watch the second season of American Horror Story! So awesome! So crazy! If you've never watched it I recommend both seasons; it's an awesome TV show with great story lines and I love the way it was filmed.

Being involved with- My school's radio station and literary magazine! I'll post more about these things once they're up and running. I'm also stage managing (kind of like assistant director, for you non-theater folk) a play called Mrs. Packard for my friend Anna. It's her senior capstone piece and discusses rights of women in the 1860s. It's an awesome show to be involved with and it's great to spend lots of time with Anna.

Blogging- whenever I get the chance? I have a few things planned, including an epic What I Ate Over Winter Break Post coming up. I went to a variety of awesome restaurants over my break and am looking forward to sharing it with you!

p.s. dont you love the Sin City inspired font in my header?

Currently.

Loving- Cold weather. The time of year between Fall and Winter is my favorite I love how chilly it is and the possibility of snow. I like wearing mocassins and sweaters and cuddling up with Penny.

Saving- Money. I want to get a pretty big tattoo on my thigh once the weather get warmer and it's probably going to be expensive. I also want to live in Boston for the summer so I'm going to get some "emergency/rent money" squared away in the next few months. And there's always student loans to pay and I just got my bill for next semester. 

Obsessing over- Photo apps. I'm a new iPhone user and I'm having fun with all the photo apps I can download. I'm having a ton of fun with Hipstamatic and Swankolab. Hipstamatic lets you experiment with virtual lenses, films and flash to create photos with analog effects. Swankolab is a virtual chemical developing app and you can play around with different "chemical" for various photo effects (like the one above!).

Watching- Parks and Rec (still!) and random things on Netflix. I'm also working my way through the Dark Knight Trilogy. Christian Bale and Maggie Gyllenhaal? Yes please!

Experimenting with- Glitter nail polish. I have to work on New Years Eve but after 7 I'm spending time with family and I want to have the sparkliest manicure ever so right now I'm layering glitter on top of glitter to find a perfect combination to usher in 2013!